Asma was a dutiful wife who performed her duties to the best of her ability. It is reported that Asma once complained to her father about Zubair's strictness. Abu Bakr (RA) advised her, "My daughter be patient. When a woman has a righteous husband and he dies and she does not remarry after him, they will be reunited in the Garden." (Reported in at-Tabaqaat of Ibn Sa'd). Asma heeded the advice of her father, and her situation later eased by way of a servant donated to her by Abu Bakr.

Asma and her husband Zubayr had ten sons in total. Zubayr named each one after a martyred Sahabi (Companion). The most famous of their sons were Abdullah and Urwah. Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr was the leader of the Muslims during one of the most turbulent periods in Islamic history. In 64 AH, Abdul-Malik assumed leadership in Damascus. During his reign, Abdullah established his own government in Makkah. Abdullah ruled Makkah for 9 years. The inhabitants of Hijaz, Yemen, Iraq and Khurasan had sworn allegiance to him. Hajjaj ibn Yusuf was Abdul-Malik’s tyrant governor of Iraq and Hijaz. Hajjaj laid siege to Makkah with about 2000 Syrians.

The siege lasted several months and Abdullah’s small army was struggling to resist Hajjaj’s forces. He sought advice from his mother Asma, as to what options lay open to him. At this time she was approaching 100 years of age and was blind. Abdullah saw that his mother’s health was failing and consoled her by saying, “Peace lies in death.” What did this great lady say? Even at this advanced age, she was courageous and resolute.
“I sense that you wish my death to precede yours, but I desire to live until the matter is settled between you and your enemy. If you are slain, I shall earn reward by observing patience upon the death of my son. And if you are victorious over the enemy, my eyes shall be cooled.”

On the day of his martyrdom Abdullah paid his final visit to his blessed mother to seek her advice one last time. Once again Asma supported her son’s decision to continue fighting Hajjaj’s army. Asma told Abdullah, “My son! Do not accept humiliating conditions laid down by the enemy for fear of slaughter. It is better to embrace the edge of the sword with honour than to endure disgrace… and pass a life of humiliation under the whip.”

Abdullah paid tribute to Asma’s tarbiyyah (nurturing) of her children with these simple words: “Know that your son never drank wine, nor was he a fornicator. Nor did he wrong any Muslim or Kaafir (non-Muslim). I am not saying this out of pride, but rather as an honour to you.” Abdullah bade his mother farewell and went out with his army to fight Hajjaj. He was killed a few hours later.

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