On the last Friday of Ramadaan, two days before Eid, I was ready to utter the shahadah and join the Muslim ummah. I couldn't keep putting off this moment. After Jumuah prayer the president announced that there was going to be someone taking their shahadah. This was it! I was urged to stand up and publicly declare my commitment to Islam. I walked slowly to the front of the prayer hall. My heart was beating rapidly, my legs felt like jelly and my throat was dry. I was positioned in front of the entire hall. The president asked if I was ready. "Yes," I squeaked.
"Okay, repeat after me…Ash hadu.... an laa... illaaha.... "
The brother thoughtfully uttered each word slowly so that I could repeat them after him. My voice was shaking and barely audible. Once the shahadah was said in Arabic and English, the president announced that I was now a Muslim. The room thundered with shouts of "Takbeer! Allahu Akbar!" I had mixed feelings of elation and embarrassment. I wanted to be at the back of the room, not in front of everyone. Yet at the same time, I was so happy that everyone in the room was sharing in this moment.

Walking to the back of the hall, I noticed that many of the sisters were blinking back tears. I was too numb to cry. Several sisters gave me a bear hug.
"Sinless! You're just like a newborn baby"
"Your shahadah has wiped away all your sins. You've got a clean slate"
"Masha'allah!"
"Mubarak!"

One sister at the back of the hall beckoned to me. A quiet, shy figure, she discreetly slipped a bag into my hands. She was greatly respected amongst us for being one of the few married sisters in the society. "We're going up to Nottingham today to spend Eid with my in-laws," she confided. "I wanted to give you this before I left."
I opened the bag slowly. Inside was a black hijab replete with intricate embroidery. "Is this for Eid?" I asked excitedly.
"No, it's because you've become Muslim."
This simple gesture moved me to tears. I was especially impressed by the unobtrusive manner in which she had given me my present, ensuring that her good deed was done in private. We hugged and I thanked her profusely for such a thoughtful act, one that I have never forgotten.

I walked out of the prayer room in a daze-like trance. Every single person in that room was now bound to me by the bonds of our communal faith. I had joined an ummah of more than one billion. I felt a strong affinity with the millions of Muslims across the globe who were also fasting.

Although my subsequent Ramadaans are far more orthodox than that first one 15 years ago, I enjoy reminiscing on it every Ramadan. There was such a feeling of exhilaration experienced when I had understood an Islamic phrase, completed a day's fasting or read a portion of the Qur'an (in English). This was the month in which the first verses of Qur'an were revealed to Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Allah had decreed that I'd be guided to Islam in this blessed month. This is the month hallmarked by sacrifice and striving. It's a month that affords every Muslim a second-chance. But for me, that Ramadaan was more than just a second chance: it was the beginning of a new life.

"The month of Ramadaan in which was revealed the Quran, a guidance
for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and
the criterion (between right and wrong)." [al-Quran 2:183]

Source: al-istiqamah.com

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