"I was married to someone well-respected in the community and never imagined that he would be violent or oppressive."

The following account was submitted to al-istiqamah.com by sister "Amatullah Islam". Hers is a harrowing story of domestic abuse whilst a new revert to Islam.

My name is Amatullah Islam, well at least, it is in this article! I became a Muslim ten years ago, having come from a Hindu background. I was always interested in comparative religions. During my college years I began to attend study circles on Islam at my college. Its simplicity appealed to me and I accepted Islam after a few months. I had many Muslim friends, albeit irreligious ones. One of the things that impressed me was the stories of how respectfully the Prophet Muhammad treated his wives. Hindu wives are often mistreated.

My family was furious at my conversion and I was forced to leave home. I lived with a Muslim family who were very kind to me. It was recommended by the local da'ee (speaker) that I seek a husband in order to have a mahram (guardian) and provider. I liked the sound of this. Before accepting Islam I had had a boyfriend who was very obsessed with me. Even after I called off our relationship (just before I became Muslim) he would stalk me. He would drive past my parents' house, phone several times and even get his friends to enquire if I had a Muslim boyfriend. I didn’t, but he was adamant that I was converting to Islam in order to get married. I guess I married in haste, in order to feel safe from him. Also, I couldn't stay with the family forever, and was keen to marry someone with their own flat.

A brother was chosen for me. Me, who had always been totally opposed to arranged marriages, was now considering one! Of course, this was different to a traditional arranged Asian marriage, as I would need to give my consent. I shall call the brother "Asif" in this story. When dating guys before Islam, a sense of humor was what would always attract me, second to their physical appearance. Asif was very serious and rarely smiled. Our characters were quite different. I consented to marrying him as he seemed religious and knowledgeable. I was very keen to marry a religious man. His character seemed cold and harsh, although I never could have guessed how harsh he would be…

Having been thrown out of my home by my parents with scarcely a penny on me, I was not in a position to buy a wedding outfit. As a young girl I had imagined my wedding with a beautiful outfit, expensive jewelry and exotic honeymoon. Instead, I was to be married in a small room with Muslim sisters whom I didn’t know. These were his friends’ wives. I felt out of place at my own wedding. Most of them kept their hijabs on. Naturally, I was scrutinized as the bride. What a shock they must have got! No jewelry, no make up, no henna. I was wearing a plain shalwar kameez which was outdone by those few sisters who took their hijabs off. I had left home with only a few clothes, my Qur'an and basic toiletries in a bag.

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